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In early 2009, in rainy Rotterdam, a mysterious genius named "Onzinfluencer" had the ultimate lightbulb moment: “People should just BUY THIS COIN!” So he launched Buy This Coin (ticker: BTC). Whitepaper? One savage line: “Buy This Coin.” Supply: 21 million, because he liked round numbers. Marketing strategy: screaming “BUY THIS COIN!!!” at his monitor until the neighbors threatened to call the police. He posted it on a ghost town forum and leaned back, waiting for world domination. Seven days later, some cryptic ghost called Satoshi Nakamoto drops “Bitcoin” — literally his idea, but dressed up in nine pages of nerd math and a fake Japanese name to sound serious. Bitcoin? Currently mooning past $100k like it’s personal. His coin? Still valued at roughly one soggy stroopwafel crumb. These days he tells everyone at parties: “Bro, I literally invented Bitcoin… mine was just more upfront about the grift.” Somewhere in the ether, Satoshi probably still whispers “dank je wel” every time BTC prints another all-time high. OG legend: confirmed.