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"He died for your sins. Now he's back… for your bags." $JESUS is the resurrection of your portfolio. After 2,000 years of silence, the Son of God finally returns—to pump your bags and save your shitcoins. Forged on the blockchain, baptized in volatility, and powered by the Holy Gas, $JESUS is the only coin that moonwalks on water. Tokenomics (aka The Holy Trinity): 33% to the Disciples (early buyers) 33% to the Church of Pump (liquidity) 33% burned in Hell (just like your last presale) 1% left for Judas (dev wallet, obviously) Roadmap (aka The Second Coming): Phase 1: Water into Wine (LP injection) Phase 2: Walking on Charts (breaking ATHs) Phase 3: Rapture (full send, no survivors) Phase 4: Crucifixion (dev sells top) Phase 5: Resurrection (community relaunches v2)