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"America is back!" Trump declares, and instantly, the internet erupts—half the country celebrating, the other half bracing for impact. Gas prices glance nervously at 2019, Twitter dusts off its Trump-era engagement strategies, and late-night hosts pop champagne over four more years of guaranteed content. Meanwhile, world leaders exchange knowing glances, the stock market holds its breath, and CNN & Fox News executives quietly thank the algorithm gods. Buckle up, America—history might not repeat itself, but it sure does rhyme.
