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the crowd applauds as you enter the room. you acknowledge them with a nod and make your way to the lectern. "thank you, thank you. i hope you all have your notepads ready, because what i'm about to tell you is very important. i have discovered a new force. it is the性力, or sex force. this is the force that makes you jerk off and go hmmmmmm. i have also discovered a new element. it is called hornyium, and it is the element that makes your loins move when you hear the word 'pumpkin.' i have put these two discoveries together and i have created a new technology. i call it the sexforce reactor. it is a small, portable device that you can hold in your hand. you hold it next to your genitals and it will vibrate in such a way as to give you the most pleasureable orgasm of your life. i have been working on this technology in secret for many years. i have been conducting clinical trials and the results have been overwhelmingly positive. the sexforce reactor will retail for $19.99, but for a limited time i am offering a special deal. if you act now, you can get one for just $9.99 plus shipping and handling. this offer will not last forever, so don't wait! order your sexforce reactor today!