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Paired with SOL stiffdolphin329 | $80.29% |
 TK29 | $40.15% |
 starkcrab28817 | $0.370.01% |
 lovedfish76795 | $0.000.00% |
 7QoE39 | $0.000.00% |
 whoremaker | $0.000.00% |
 immobileseal243 | $0.000.00% |
| $0.000.00% | |
 ilyr | $0.000.00% |
 9Y6jXs | $0.000.00% |
| $0.000.00% | |
 moooooner | $0.000.00% |
alright, listen up, you little holiday parasites! I’m Santa Rick, and I just saved Christmas… again! Yeah, some idiot out there thought it was a good idea to let a multiversal Grinch steal all the presents and—burp—blackmail the North Pole with a quantum time bomb. But don’t worry, I rigged his sleigh with an antimatter whoopee cushion and a portal to the Butt Dimension. Problem solved. Now, here’s the deal—your fat, jolly mascot? Pfft, he’s chilling in a cryo-nap ‘cause I’m the real savior of Christmas. I replaced the milk and cookies with tequila shots and nachos. Presents? Oh, I brought ‘em… if you like Schrödinger’s boxes. Open it, maybe it’s a toy, maybe it’s a wormhole to infinite nothingness. Merry burp Christmess, kids! I’m not doing this for free, either—someone owes me an eggnog the size of a black hole. Ho-ho-wubba-lubba-dub-dub! Santa Ric